Post break up.

It's exactly 2 weeks. 2 weeks of living in denial. The best part is when the other party moves on pretty much earlier than i do.  "The moment we part our ways is the moment i stop loving you...'' 
I froze the moment he says that. Seems like 2 years ++ means nothing to him and watching me go felt so easy for him. But oh well i shall just move on and pray for the best. I'll miss the memories we had. I hope Allah heard my prayers and heal my heart. Insyallah.


#Nowplaying Syukur - One Nation Emcees

Sacrifice for love, friendship and family

Love doesn't just mean saying I love you to someone. Love is love even without saying anything. Love is also sacrifice, it also means that keeping quiet for each others' sakes. Love is also giving up your own happiness for someone else's happiness....  - Mujhse Dosti Karoge 


Hum saathi kitne puraane, phir kyoon hai itne anjaane ?

le timeout

Perhaps many will be having question marks on their head and questioning like what had happened to the both of us. Love story that have turn from sweet to sour and now beginning to stale. It's the holy month of ramadhan and tonight i felt that my heart is aching and breaking again just like what i'd been through the last 2 years of ramadhan. My heart was really aching and now it's shattering even more. I'm so much in a confused state. All i need is for you to alter all the details and make it right. It's not going to only benefit you or even me but it's for us.The best of us. I wouldn't wanna ask for much but just fulfill your duty as a boyfriend. Someone who is able to not only be a boyfriend but also a friend, a listener and someone who can support me and do things that normal couples would do. Sometimes i wish i could take silly photos together with you, joke around and have that never ending laughs, bitch around like bestfriends and love each other like how we have always wanted to be loved.


I'm praying hard to Allah and hoping for things to change and make it a better one. If not and if we are really not meant to be i hope Allah release both of our hearts and let them rest in peace without having to suffer so much of pain.And i hate to lose you even as a friend but i know you wouldn't wanna face me and wanna disappear from my life if we are not meant to be. Last but not least,I love you and i still do.


Mornight.

Answers

Things been going downhill. I'm still searching for answers. Still figuring out. I feel so guilty whenever i blew my top. I was never like this. It's just... I dunno why i get irritated,pissed easily at times. It's like as though my attitude totally change. I know i've hurt you so much but you stood down and stay. You did not give up on me. And all the more i should cherish and treasure you.I'm disappointed in myself.Likewise people change but i guess i wanna make a change.A positive change and go back to the old me. The old Syara. Not only for me but for us.



''Two things define you.
Your patience when you have nothing,
and your attitude when you have everything..''


I could totally relate to this quote. sigh =/
Darlin i am truly sorry. This is like the umpteenth time i'm apologizing to you but i felt the pinch too. I've promised not to hurt you but i still did. 


I love you.  *tight hug*

Breathe

I think it's been almost a year i last blogged. Must've been really busy with life. I miss pouring all my feelings in my blog. It's been too long.Too much to explain and express but to make it short, I've hurt, i've healed, i've learnt and i've let go. Blogging right now because of my overwhelming emotions.I just dunno. I'm sad..too sad.sigh.I wanna work on my relationship with Hakim. We've been going through so much pain.It's either i'm expecting too much or perhaps the effort isn't there anymore.Too much of the downhills though.I want the old happy us.The crazy us. Just us and the world. But Allah has been testing the both of us.=( It's okay i'll just take it as phases of the ups and downs of relationship. We've been together for almost 2 years.I know we are strong macho sotongs. I'll take this as a challenge from Allah.I promise i'll work it out. WE will work it out together.We'll never let our effort and dreams go to waste ok sayang. Insyallah...



Chatted with your sis for the first time.She's just like you.Kind and friendly and easygoing but deep down she's lonely without you.She misses you badly. I have a little brother too and i felt her loss...I hope you make this a big lesson for yourself Mahfuz. In anyways i'm still your friend and will always be.I'll always pray for the best and hope you change for the better.For Allah s.w.t.   Insyallah....

3:03am
Mas Demenziale L'ucino:
Indeed he was right about you
I just remembered he used to describe you as a plain simple girl next door with a very big heart.

And this make me burst into tears....Last December 2012, We were total strangers.We met unexpectedly at Surabaya. Didn't know you really like me so much and that explains love at first sight but i guess we are better off as good friends.He sees my flaws and saw the ugly side of me but he accepted me sincerely.I never regret knowing you. Not a single bit. I love how you treat every single one of your friends with full of sincerity and love including me.We did had a great time together with the others. I'll never stop praying for you. Be strong and never give up. This is a test from Allah. Remember that. Arwah mum will be proud to see how much you wanna make the effort to change to a better person. 

Goodnight & Assalamualaikum....

A battle.

Willpower.
Strength.
Never give up.
Fighter.
Patience.
Desire.
Passion.
Power.
Confidence.



A battle.
Perhaps.
And everyday is a step closer to everything.
It gets tougher every single time.
A challenge.


''You hurt yourself to make me stay....This is crazy....''   - Lauryn Hill

Membawaku ke Syurga....

''Jika namamu yang tertulis di Lauhul Mahfudz untuk diriku, nescaya rasa cinta itu akan Allah tanamkan dalam diri kita. Tugasku bukan mencari dirimu tetapi mensolehahkan diriku. Wahai seseorang yang telah tertulis di Lauhul Mahfudzku, imamku dan ayah dari anak anakku dan juga lelaki yang akan bersamaku sehingga ke akhir hayat. Aku percaya kau sedang memperbaiki dirimu, memantaskan dirimu untuk menjadi imam bagi tulang rusukmu dan buah hatimu kelak.... insyallah...''

Another fun day at work today. My mood was totally off right early in the morning. All thanks to mum who was totally kanchong. Totally killed my mood and i got mad after that. Kimmy was a bit late and i pulled off a long face. And i know i can't be mad with him for too long. I push away my ego and apologise for the 'attitude-face expression' that i gave him. I really am sorry Kimmy. Did our deliveries near Paya Lebar there. It was the best day ever. Started off with setting up the tables and putting on the skirtings and had all the buffet ready. The event starts at around 12-ish. Had a little conflict with the manager of the event. Felt like punching her face. *macho mode on* Typical kanchong chinese manager. Not trying to be racist but it's the fact though. But everything went well after that.


 Went home and it's Kimmy's first time stepping into my house. Like finally! Hahaha! Of course mum is with us. Wash up, bathe, took wudhu' and getting all prepared and ready for Asar prayers. Waited patiently for him to finish his bath. We did our Asar prayers together and he became my imam for that day. Honestly i was touched and my tears started rolling down my cheeks listening to him reciting every surah. It felt so calm. Feels like a dream come true. Alhamdulilah. This is what i've been waiting for.


 Head to IMM for our dinner. Chat over dinner about work and we couldn't stop laughing about some incidents that happen at work earlier on. Went Arcade. Initially we went in to just explore the place but then we got caught by the games there. Haha another crazy fun time once again. Bought dinner for lil brother and took shuttle bus home from IMM. It was an unforgettable blessful day. Alhamdulilah......