Things been going downhill. I'm still searching for answers. Still figuring out. I feel so guilty whenever i blew my top. I was never like this. It's just... I dunno why i get irritated,pissed easily at times. It's like as though my attitude totally change. I know i've hurt you so much but you stood down and stay. You did not give up on me. And all the more i should cherish and treasure you.I'm disappointed in myself.Likewise people change but i guess i wanna make a change.A positive change and go back to the old me. The old Syara. Not only for me but for us.
''Two things define you.
Your patience when you have nothing,
and your attitude when you have everything..''
I could totally relate to this quote. sigh =/
Darlin i am truly sorry. This is like the umpteenth time i'm apologizing to you but i felt the pinch too. I've promised not to hurt you but i still did.
I love you. *tight hug*
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Breathe
I think it's been almost a year i last blogged. Must've been really busy with life. I miss pouring all my feelings in my blog. It's been too long.Too much to explain and express but to make it short, I've hurt, i've healed, i've learnt and i've let go. Blogging right now because of my overwhelming emotions.I just dunno. I'm sad..too sad.sigh.I wanna work on my relationship with Hakim. We've been going through so much pain.It's either i'm expecting too much or perhaps the effort isn't there anymore.Too much of the downhills though.I want the old happy us.The crazy us. Just us and the world. But Allah has been testing the both of us.=( It's okay i'll just take it as phases of the ups and downs of relationship. We've been together for almost 2 years.I know we are strong macho sotongs. I'll take this as a challenge from Allah.I promise i'll work it out. WE will work it out together.We'll never let our effort and dreams go to waste ok sayang. Insyallah...
Chatted with your sis for the first time.She's just like you.Kind and friendly and easygoing but deep down she's lonely without you.She misses you badly. I have a little brother too and i felt her loss...I hope you make this a big lesson for yourself Mahfuz. In anyways i'm still your friend and will always be.I'll always pray for the best and hope you change for the better.For Allah s.w.t. Insyallah....
3:03am
Mas Demenziale L'ucino:
Indeed he was right about you
I just remembered he used to describe you as a plain simple girl next door with a very big heart.
And this make me burst into tears....Last December 2012, We were total strangers.We met unexpectedly at Surabaya. Didn't know you really like me so much and that explains love at first sight but i guess we are better off as good friends.He sees my flaws and saw the ugly side of me but he accepted me sincerely.I never regret knowing you. Not a single bit. I love how you treat every single one of your friends with full of sincerity and love including me.We did had a great time together with the others. I'll never stop praying for you. Be strong and never give up. This is a test from Allah. Remember that. Arwah mum will be proud to see how much you wanna make the effort to change to a better person.
Goodnight & Assalamualaikum....
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